The end is in sight, my pedigree chums. Perhaps you'd like to see where I've been staying for the past few days? Here it is:
Oh no wait, that's the moon. Hang on - it's HERE:
NO WAIT, that's the Sultan's palace from Aladdin. Ah, well - listen, if you want to see my holiday snaps when I get back then just holla, ok? Now, with no further ado, let's push on to Phase Six of Operation Long Distance.
For anyone who has come into the office to find that everything has gone to hell in a handcart over the weekend, I give you a big red button. Note: please ensure speakers are turned up to maximum. For anyone who hasn't, here is a picture of Johnny Depp reading to a dog. And for everyone who is experiencing a Monday right now, here is a gentleman who understands you completely.
Soundtrack is an absolute stone-cold corker.